Thursday 12 January 2017

My neighbors are listening to great music. Whether they like it or not.

Late one night a mugger wearing a mask stopped a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs. "Give me your money," he demanded. Scandalized, the man replied, "You can’t do this – I’m a US Congressman!" "Oh! In that case," smiled the robber, "Give me MY money!"


Little Alex was sent back to bed for the tenth time that evening and his mommy is not amused. She says, “Alex, if I hear one more time ‘Mommy, I want this, mommy, I want that’, you will be in big trouble! I don’t want to hear the word mommy again tonight. Now off to bed you go!” There’s a short pause, after which Johnny says hesitantly, “Mrs Diffey, I want a glass of water, please.”

Teacher asks, “Who can tell me the chemical formula for water?”
Little Johnny pipes up, "HIJKLMNO"!
The teacher is puzzled, “What on Earth are you talking about, Johnny?”
Little Johnny looks hurt, “But sir, you yourself said yesterday that it's H to O!”

Little Johnny peeks through the keyhole of his parents’ bedroom one night. He stares for a minute and then, thoroughly disgusted, shakes his head, “And these people tell me I shouldn’t pick my nose?!”

“You da bomb!”

“No, you da bomb!”

In America – a compliment. In the Middle East – an argument.



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